- 00:00 Introduction
- 1:05 Friendship on the development journey
- 9:45 With friends we don’t need to hide
- 25:54 What are the three main features of friendship?
- 39:07 The magic of old friends
- 53:12 Why do humans need to be recognized?
- 1:11:00 Humanity’s future depends on the collective space of friendship
Isn’t it interesting that arguably the most connected, in touch and in tune generations ever, Gen Z and millennials — generally people born after 1980 — also report in some surveys feeling lonelier, with fewer close friends, than their older siblings or parents?
Even in the digital age of nonstop texts, tweets and saturation social media, technology alone won’t kindle the warmth and depth of real human-to-human bonds. How then in our personal and collective journeys do we sustain the relationships often at the core of our wellbeing and emotional health — our friendships?
Portals brought together a group of our international friends to explore their experience of friendship and its role in the happiness, health, and transformation of a life. They find companionship, acceptance, trust and love, yet also challenge, strength and the desire for us to be our best.
The friends’ conversation with Aviv Shahar reveals the inspiration and transformative power of friendship:
- True friendship is found not in holding each other back, but in setting each other free.
- Friendship comes through a look to caress, to swell up the beautiful things that I see around me and in another person; friendship can heal, soften, inspire and make things lighter and happier.
- Friendship is that immortal recognition and knowledge that I've witnessed you, and you have witnessed me; in that mutual recognition we have something shared that leads beyond time.
- Friends are there whether we’re with them or not; it’s a pact of reciprocal maintenance that allows something to build between people that's greater than either one alone.
- Friendship gathers something together, puts communities together, builds villages, builds camaraderie. It puts people together in a way that magnifies and makes them stronger.
This conversation is part of the continuing Portals discovery into what is emerging on the frontiers of human experience in this time of profound change. Information about upcoming special events can be found on the Events page. Also visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.
It's the intimate moments when people come together and can share the depths of themselves with each other. Sometimes it's mind to mind; sometimes it's soul to soul, in the kind of ecology we know to be friendship.
Everybody that's ever experienced what friendship has to offer can recognize it as a sacred space… It's a hint of what the future of humankind is supposed to be. We have this allowance, this release of brilliance, this support of the best of each other, and the prevention of the worst. We share these as our common humanity.
Hanna Kerkhof
Being born on planet Earth made me always wonder about why I’m here. At the age of three, after a traumatic experience, I got a green bike from my parents. And there I went, curious, exploring the world around me. Feeling free; life became an adventure.
The longing to travel stayed prominent in my life and brought me to several places on this Earth until giving birth to a child. Beautiful years of motherhood next to my job as an art and drama therapist, which both gave more perception about the uniqueness and importance of expression in each life.
Are we not here to express life through living- dying- living- dying -living … I believe so. Therefore, I started accompanying people in their dying process. Humanity, care, love and friendship play a vital role therein as in living this life nowadays.
Daniel Cohen
People and their stories – for me these have always been most fascinating. And not just their hi-story (although that too has always been of interest) much more their future story – their hopes and dreams and aspirations. For that, I believe, is where our tomorrows can be forged as more than just a continuation of the past, but a place and platform for the release of greater brilliance. And is that not a central pillar of our purpose here – to release more light into this world? That’s a core aspect of what the journey is for me. And, as I walk the development pathways of my own life, I try to learn how to actively support, encourage and champion all the great human qualities which await that burst of brilliance in other people’s lives.
Christine J. Brooks
As a child with a curious mind, there were questions, and as growing realized that we were as a world living in a culminating time heading towards something.
There was and still is a love of the natural worlds, the quiet places, where essence can be sensed, the mystery of the night sky and of stars alongside. In later youth an urgent prod to remember the reason for my having been born.
There is a simplicity to living that is empowered. And one of my joys is to reflect to others the brightness of themselves, particularly when dulled - to encourage the best whether as a therapist or as a friend. For, in responding to need, it is to find oneself in use looking towards a greater life, which is something that for me compels.
Kyriaki Nikandrou
When I was a child, staring at the starry night skies, I was filled with awe and wonder, about the mysteries of the Universe, Life, Time, the Human and its place in the Cosmos, trying to connect the dots that link everything with everything…
Some years down the line, I still do. I am seeking to be in conversation with others in search for keys, for tools of understanding and application and for the real questions, the ones that become portals to contemplative journeys, leading to uncharted territories that feel like home.
I believe we are on a trajectory of multiple and unpredictable changes; it is up to each one of us to rise to the challenge of our times. Now, more than ever before, is the time to be true to ourselves and fulfill our potential.
Perry Martin
The theme of being a representative of the hopes and dreams of those lives whom have gone before became a constant companion to me, as it became clear that I may be unique in all the world, but never would my life be alone. We are dependent on each other as a humanity
This taught me a very deep lesson: a human's life is not to be lived for only one purpose, but can fulfill many purposes. And ever-refining new purpose can reveal itself - if one is open. We, after all, are a multi-faceted assembly of many lives.
Marianne Ashcroft
Since I was a small child, I have always been searching for what's real and irrefutable. Not prepared to settle for the answers that others chose to give me, I set out to find out for myself why I'm here and what I'm here to do; what I'm part of and how I can honour my part in it.
I believe every life has a song to sing, and we can each discover our unique combination of notes from the talents, skills, perceptions and passions that each life is gifted with.
Aud Wilken
It has always moved me deeply that the human can process such a myriad of life, so many things, and in so many ways.
To be in charge of the sensitive machinery that can feel, think, listen, absorb, know, and create. To come to know Life more intimately. To offer response - perhaps with music or poetry - to what is being felt and witnessed. How to best tune oneself to accurately translate and be with all of this without shrinking it? To offer it one’s best, with great trust in the senses and by practicing often - alone, and with others - to give voice to Life as it moves in and through and between us all.
Many small offerings, so more beauty, more truth and more goodness can land and grow.
Aviv Shahar
Aviv is the Founder of Aviv Consulting, helping leaders unleash strategic innovation, and is the author of Create New Futures: How Leaders Produce Breakthroughs and Transform the World Through Conversation.
Visit: Aviv Consulting
